I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
