I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
