Can Purell be used as lube?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
