ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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