we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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