they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
