Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
