..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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