Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
