I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize