I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
