Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
