I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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