On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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