my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
