Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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