I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
