You work out of a Hotel?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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