too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
