five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
