Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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