You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
