she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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