Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
