NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
