Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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