alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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