I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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