Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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