I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
