i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize