im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
