I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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