i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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