is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
