omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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