He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
