She announced her abortion via fbk
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
