Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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