oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Is it penis luge time yet?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
