He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
