I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
they're like a gay fantastic four
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
