Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
