Don't you send me to vm
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
