I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize