Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
