I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
