All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
