At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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