She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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