Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
