he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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