he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
