forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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