Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize