just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
